Typically, she discloses after she's gotten to know someone. Soon after Colleen made a profile on OKCupid she agreed to a date—just to test out the site. She's in a monogamous relationship now, but before she fell in love she had an OKCupid profile that identified her as a straight woman.
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He joined the online dating site OKCupid six years ago, about three years before he transitioned.
He dates men and women, both transgender and cisgender (a term for people who aren't trans).
Looking back, it seems dating was much easier when I was a cis-gendered female, rather than it is now that I am an out trans guy.
But there’s no denying that the dating part itself presented fewer challenges as a cis-gendered person.
After La Mon transitioned from female to male, he didn’t change his gender to “male” on his OKCupid profile; instead, he started a second profile where he identified as “male.” He kept the female profile active because he thinks that some women who typically date other women might also be interested in dating transgender men.
In both profiles he makes it clear that he is “a trans guy” and that people should “only message me if you’re cool with that.” Part of the need for this complicated negotiation is that OKCupid doesn’t allow users to identify as “transgender”—just “male” or “female.” The site has been in the news this week after cofounder Christian Rudder announced that developers secretly changed some people's compatibility ratings and removed profile photos to learn more about behavior on the site.
Ryley Pogensky, the genderqueer person who created the petition, said that when he asked OKCupid about adding more gender identity options, a representative told him it would be difficult to change the site because it was built “in a pretty binary way.” La Mon has noticed that his male and female OKCupid profiles get different matches.
While he has dated some people through the site—it’s where he met the woman he’s seeing—he is frustrated with the limited ways transgender people are able to identify on the site, “because you don’t fit into these little boxes, or the people you’re interested in don’t fit in neat little boxes.” La Mon wasn't alone in his discontent.
From the beginning, she knew it was important to allow people to identify as queer and transgender in their profiles.
The other Mesh founders, who are straight men, agreed. As soon as I explained to them why it was important, they got it,” Sleidi said.
Last year, Yeni Sleidi met a software developer named Asher Snyder who was fed up with what he calls the “Tinderification” of online dating.